Weight Loss Wednesday on Thursday: :

To be honest I didn't want to come on here and make a post on my weight at all and so I am forcing myself to do this today.  I gained weight.  I tried on a couple of outfits to wear to my kid's graduation and the one I liked least is the one I looked best in and I just don't want to face the world with my weight gain.    I started this weight loss thing because I was feeling uncomfortable, unhealthy and wanted to look better.  I didn't go into this with impossible expectations or the idea that my weight affects how I feel about myself as a person.  I'm beginning to wonder about that last one.

When the dress that I so happily found looking much better last week wasn't looking so great this week I felt depressed, frustrated and like I had disappointed J.  I hate that.  My weight doesn't have anything to do with who I am and yet when I saw pictures of myself in a bathing suit on Saturday I wanted to cry.  I know I'm 50 pounds overweight, but geez I was shocked to see me looking like a fat middle aged woman.

This past week has been filled with a Memorial Service, an interment and dinner, three birthdays, and a graduation party.  Basically that's been five cakes, a thousand tiny muffalettas, jambalaya, meatballs, brownies, cupcakes, pizzas, brisket, BBQ, etc.  I have eaten my face off and the gain of just a couple of pounds shows big time.

So I said all of this to say this:  Backsliding on the weight loss has given my ego a hit and I hate that.  I may not be one of those confident people who always seem so certain they know who they are and what they are doing, but I don't want to be one of those people who are always beating up on themselves either.  I used to be that person and I don't want to go back to being that person.  I'm going to get back on the horse, but I'm wondering how to handle weight loss failures so that I'm not telling myself I'm horrible because I look horrible.  Sigh, here are the stats:

Weight loss: none

Current weight: 144

Dream weight: 115

Political Correctness in NOLA? The Heck With That!!

I'm sure I mentioned this place before, Rocky & Carlo's.  I'm sure I mentioned Rocky, (bless his heart a thousand times) as well.  This place is an institution in these parts.  Back before Katrina, it's reputation was pure New Orleans neighborhood restaurant, the place was filthy, the wait staff didn't wait on you unless you were a regular or knew one of them, you could watch as the person making your food take out a loaf of french bread and tuck it under her armpit as she headed over to the gravy vat.  There was an incident where someone died of salmonella after eating the stuffed pepper dinner, ever after the dish has been referred to as the Salmonella Special (my favorite).  And yet the people kept on coming.  The place is just that good.  Sadly they've improved the restaurant and the staff and now we all get waited on and no more armpit bread.  There is something about a NOLA institution that will have natives' hearts and loyalties no matter the price, no matter the danger, no matter the risk of life and limb.  We will mourn for generations over the loss of an institution.  Seriously.

One yummie Wop Salad @ Rocky's.

I said all that to say this:  My son is graduating from his paramedic class, we are having a little party and I want Wop Salad.  I did a search for Rocky's Wop Salad recipe only to find this paragraph:

This fairly old-fashioned but longtime favorite dish on Creole-Italian menus across the city is an example of that, the term "wop" being generally felt to be a slur on people of Italian extraction. However, nobody in New Orleans, least of all Italians, seemed to mind the term at least as applied to this dish, which would probably still be on restaurant menus under its old name if it weren't for out-of-towners who were kind enough to point out that this is, in fact, an ethnic slur.

on this page.   So I'm all like WTH?!  That's like the moron who decided after 9/11that we should call the French Quarter the "Freedom Quarter" because France said we couldn't use their air space.  That bit of stupidity didn't go over well with the locals.  Anyways the politically correct term is "New Orleans Italian Salad."  Yuck.  Who comes up with this crap?  That's like changing the name "po-boy" to sandwich and it just won't do.  I'm tired of the Americanization of New Orleans.  If you don't like our ways and you don't like our political incorrectness then this isn't the place for you.  If the term "Wop Salad" was good enough for Rocky, (the guy from Scicily who would give you the shirt off his back), then it is good enough for me.  

Yet Another Reason Why I Find Canadians Awesome...

This is Tar Man.  He is my favorite zombie ever.  Just look at that happy little face, how can you resist?

If you like zombies, (and I'm hoping you do), you'll like this...

http://www.emergencyinfobc.gov.bc.ca/zombie-preparedness-week-are-you-ready.html

Weight Loss Wednesday: Holding on.

Things have been really rushed and really stressful.  My hands shake and my left eye has that irritating twitchy tick thing from time to time, but I'm hanging in there.  The memorial for Maw, oh Lord that could be two whole posts, is over, but we have to wait for her ashes before we can put her in with Paw.  I haven't been trying much on the whole weight loss thing but then again I haven't been eating much.  So here we are...

Exercise:  Hardly any, but I have been doing Sheila's push-ups.

Water:  4-6 glasses a day

Food:  A steady diet of Popeye's red beans, Wendy's baked potatoes, and Munchies burritos.

Confession:  See above.

Congratulations:  I'm doing those little push-ups.

Weight loss this week: none

Current weight: 142.5

Dream weight: 115

Rest in Peace Maw-Maw

A few days ago one of the nurses told us that sometimes people don't want anyone in the room when they pass.  I thought that this would be a very Maw-Maw thing to do.  She was a very private person and always told her children that she didn't want any fuss or any ceremony when she died.  Sis #3 joked that Maw had better go when she stepped out to the bathroom because she didn't intend to leave.  We had to laugh, (yeah sick and twisted), because Maw-Maw passed away while Sis #3 went to the bathroom.

Yup, that was a very Maw-Maw thing to do.  I pray that she is in a peaceful place with no pain.  We love you Maw-Maw.

Weight Loss Wednesday: Stress

We continue to take turns sitting with Maw-Maw; which means I am eating fast food.  I think it's the stress that is suppressing my appetite because I have no other explanation for this week's weight loss.  My nerves are horrible and every time the phone rings we jump.  Ha perhaps it's the exercise we are getting when we jump?  I am doing Sheila's pee-pee push-ups when I remember and the other day I felt it in my pecks when I did a yawn/stretch thing.  Ouch.  So here's the breakdown...

Exercise:  Pee-Pee push-ups.

Water:  I've slacked off a bit and notice a difference because I feel dry in the morning, but I am doing at least four glasses a day.

Food:  I haven't been keeping track of my calories on Spark People, and it's been 97% fast food.

Confession:  I really don't have one other than it's been all fast food.

Congratulations:  I really don't have any temptation I've resisted.

Weight loss: 6.5

Current weight: 142.5

Dream weight: 115 (Which is still 10 lbs more than what the charts say I should weigh)

Over By Your Mama'n Nem

As I sit by Maw-Maw's bedside I watch the precious few pictures we have left flash across the digital picture frame.  I see the old house, the kids when they were little, pictures of us when we were teens and I can't help but play that Benny Grunch song, Over By Your Mama'n Nem in my head.  I want nothing more than to go back fifteen or twenty years, back to when we had all our parents, aunts and uncles, back to when we weren't the older generation, back to a time when we knew less about the world.

I watch those pictures go by and I realize that time is always moving on.  That damn song breaks my heart every time I hear it and yet, because it hits so close to home how can I not keep playing it over and over in my head?

Weight Loss Wednesday:

Well this hasn't been a good eating week.  We've spent a lot of time at the hospital and then hospice which of course leads to eating out.  We've hit Louisiana Pizza Kitchen, Five Happiness, Burger King, McDonald's, the hospital coffee shop, etc.  Well you get the point, it hasn't exactly been healthy low calorie eating.  This week's challenge was temptation to do a lot of stress eating.  I haven't been keeping track of my calories on Spark People been too busy and scatter brained.  I will say that watching the calories has really helped me.  If this had been two months ago, I'd be eating all kinds of cake saying, "what the heck," to myself.  Today I'm saying, "Careful with the calories."  So here's the skinny, (lovin' me some puns):

Exercise:  Just a bit.

Water:  about 4 glasses a day.  I'm trying, but it's hard to keep up with it when you are constantly on the go.

Food:  Lots of eating out.  I did some portion control, but it's not easy to eat skinny when eating out.

Confession:  I ate an entire Big Mac meal.

Congratulations:  I haven't given in to the temptation to sit down and eat an entire bag of chips.

Weight loss:  -4 lbs.

Current weight: 145

Dream weight:  115

I'm not upset by this 1lb. gain.  I've chosen to be lenient on myself seeing how difficult things are at this time.  I haven't been scarfing down snacks.  I've said no to myself and I've for the most part been choosing the lighter option when it comes to dining.  I see where counting those calories and drinking that water is effective for me.  Shoot, I've even started doing the Sheila exercise method to try and offset some of this eating.  I think for someone who is heading to hospice every day to feed her MIL I'm not doing bad.  I'm not doing bad at all, (food wise that is).