The DIY Gravestone

     I know I married into a family that is slightly off kilter; it works because my family is a bit off kilter too.  Sometimes we take it too far, thus we have the DIY Gravestone story...

     Our beloved Paw, (FIL), passed away back in Dec. and we put in for the military marker to be placed between his parents' grave in Mississippi.  The marker is designed to rest on a slab of marble or some other pretty stone which of course we would have to purchase.  The thing is, one, there was no burial insurance, and two, certain members of the group are DIY junkies.  Perhaps it was the fudge cake at the repast back in Dec.  Maybe it was the Mississippi air.  Whatever got to us that day got us good because we came up with this notion that we could provide a stone leftover from the granite countertop or perhaps do something in cement.  Actually it was my BIL, God bless him, who saw this as an opportunity to put his new cement mixer to use and so proposed the cement project.

     It was decided that BIL would build the mold, pour the cement, and paint it to look like marble.  SIL wanted me to do the painting, because she knows BIL's skill level and has no faith in his painting abilities, but BIL insisted.  Frankly I had my doubts about the faux painting plan and was more than willing to leave it to BIL.  Months go by and a week before the placing the marker ceremony I got a phone call from SIL.  She wants to see if I can fix BIL's paint job.  BIL is sounding pretty sheepish in the background so I knew it was bad.  BIL is never sheepish.

     I get there and am led to a chunk of cement that had been spray painted what was supposed to be hunter green and I am speechless.  Speechless!  BIL if you stumble across this blog, sorry buddy, but we both know that was just... well... bad.  It looked like I took out a chunk of my front porch and spray painted it green.  I just stood there and thought, "I am NOT going on Saturday; both cars will break down, I'll get sick, or break an ankle.  There is no way I'm going to be there when that big chunk of ugly is laid out for all Paw's siblings to see."

The holes were for the bolts to attach the marker.
Doesn't even look green does it?

     The back up plan for using the leftover granite piece was put into play.  The only problem with that is no one wanted to cut it to proper size for less than two hundred dollars or before Saturday.  After driving all over town looking for a guy with the appropriate wet saw, (a regular ole tile saw won't do), we gave up.  All I can say is thank Gawd I suggested we head over to the funeral home to see if they had a suggestion.  Who knew they had spare stones sitting there waiting for someone like us, (last minute dunder heads)?  Bless the director's heart, he gave us one that was slightly off kilter for free.  One twelve dollar drill bit later and we had ourselves a nice stone for our marker.

Names have been erased to protect the innocent.

     Moral of the story: There are some things that just shouldn't be DIY.  Geez what were we thinking?!