The DIY Gravestone

     I know I married into a family that is slightly off kilter; it works because my family is a bit off kilter too.  Sometimes we take it too far, thus we have the DIY Gravestone story...

     Our beloved Paw, (FIL), passed away back in Dec. and we put in for the military marker to be placed between his parents' grave in Mississippi.  The marker is designed to rest on a slab of marble or some other pretty stone which of course we would have to purchase.  The thing is, one, there was no burial insurance, and two, certain members of the group are DIY junkies.  Perhaps it was the fudge cake at the repast back in Dec.  Maybe it was the Mississippi air.  Whatever got to us that day got us good because we came up with this notion that we could provide a stone leftover from the granite countertop or perhaps do something in cement.  Actually it was my BIL, God bless him, who saw this as an opportunity to put his new cement mixer to use and so proposed the cement project.

     It was decided that BIL would build the mold, pour the cement, and paint it to look like marble.  SIL wanted me to do the painting, because she knows BIL's skill level and has no faith in his painting abilities, but BIL insisted.  Frankly I had my doubts about the faux painting plan and was more than willing to leave it to BIL.  Months go by and a week before the placing the marker ceremony I got a phone call from SIL.  She wants to see if I can fix BIL's paint job.  BIL is sounding pretty sheepish in the background so I knew it was bad.  BIL is never sheepish.

     I get there and am led to a chunk of cement that had been spray painted what was supposed to be hunter green and I am speechless.  Speechless!  BIL if you stumble across this blog, sorry buddy, but we both know that was just... well... bad.  It looked like I took out a chunk of my front porch and spray painted it green.  I just stood there and thought, "I am NOT going on Saturday; both cars will break down, I'll get sick, or break an ankle.  There is no way I'm going to be there when that big chunk of ugly is laid out for all Paw's siblings to see."

The holes were for the bolts to attach the marker.
Doesn't even look green does it?

     The back up plan for using the leftover granite piece was put into play.  The only problem with that is no one wanted to cut it to proper size for less than two hundred dollars or before Saturday.  After driving all over town looking for a guy with the appropriate wet saw, (a regular ole tile saw won't do), we gave up.  All I can say is thank Gawd I suggested we head over to the funeral home to see if they had a suggestion.  Who knew they had spare stones sitting there waiting for someone like us, (last minute dunder heads)?  Bless the director's heart, he gave us one that was slightly off kilter for free.  One twelve dollar drill bit later and we had ourselves a nice stone for our marker.

Names have been erased to protect the innocent.

     Moral of the story: There are some things that just shouldn't be DIY.  Geez what were we thinking?!

Okay, So You Really Need That Mural...

The ceiling looks great, but below
that is all construction zone.

     If you are like me, you like themes.  I don't mean themes as in, "oh I did my kid's room in a Harry Potter theme by buying the bedroom set at the local Mart store,"theme.  I mean theme as in, "all the world is a stage and I want to be on it," theme.  I want to lay back and look up at the enchanted ceiling of Hogwarts surrounded by the opulence of a New Orleans French Quarter mansion, not soak in a tub.  Therefore a mural is needed.  My Harry Potter meets NOLA FQ mansion bath sounds scary, but I'm loving it every step of the way.  Well except for having to paint the night sky over Hogwarts on the ceiling.  Looking up and holding your arms up for days at a time ain't easy let me tell ya.

     The other day I found this company, muralsyourway.com, six months after the bath mural has been finished of course.  I could have photographed the night sky and had one made.  Oh well, I am actually happier with what I painted than with anything I could have photographed.  Anyways, wouldn't this be cool over the ceiling of your tub?

What if you did one of those faucets that
come out of the ceiling on this one?  It could look like it was raining.

I would hang a chandelier from the center of this sucker and go all neoclassical on that bath, not that I'm a neoclassical girl or anything, but wow if I were...  Then again, imagine the possibilities, you, your camera, photoshop and this mural company working together to create the most ridiculous murals ever!  I know J wouldn't go for it, but wouldn't it be cool if I did a mural with a picture of the spare room right after Katrina, all moldy, muddy, full of  ruined tumbled about furniture and put it up in the spare room?!  Old room in the new room; cool.  Or, you could take a picture of yourself eating at the table with John F. Kennedy or enlarge and photoshop your cat so that she's seated at the other end of the table and put it on the wall of the dining room.  This is the kind of mural that excites me.  Let's get rid of those tired, meaningless, and overdone Tuscan windows slapped in the middle of a wall America and put your imagination to work!

Do You Really Need That Mural?

Not awesome mural.  Just slapped on the
 wall screaming Olive Garden Restaurant.

    I was prompted to do this rant thanks to the reception hall's ugly mural at that wedding this past weekend.

     I know people pay a lot for painted murals, and with a talented artist they are beautiful, but I've seen so many done so badly that I cringe when I hear the word, "mural."  I'm not a mural fan from the stand point of slapping up that ocean view or that Tuscan countryside out a faux window and having someone tell me it's their theme.  A picture is not a theme.  Either make the mural count for something or get rid of it.  In other words, take it further people!  Tuscans don't sit in their living rooms decorated al la Rooms To Go with murals of the "countryside" on their walls.  They have beautiful rustic beams in their ceilings, wonderful old world tile, awesome rustic plaster walls.  In comparison a 3'x5' mural just seems a bit silly.

Awesome mural.
It makes a statement.

     Choose to be the Tuscan rather than the patron in an Olive Garden restaurant.  Stretch your imagination and DIY skills a bit further and beat the heck out of some 2x4s, stain them and nail them to your ceiling joists over the drywall, trowel some smooth wall texture on those walls for heaven's sake.  Got some wood working skills?  Make some cornices to "hold" those "beams" up.  Frame out that silly little mural to look like a window or get rid of it all together, after all you are now IN a Tuscan room and not sitting in a traditional ranch with a mural on the wall.

     The cost to be in a Tuscan room?  Regular old 2x4s are under $3 apiece, stain, under $25, texture under $50,  pale creamy paint for the walls under $60.  So essentially for about $200, you could have Tuscany instead of looking at a little $200 mural that means nothing to the room.  A woman with a set of tools who knows how to use them is a dangerous thing.  Now imagine what you could do if you wanted a Spanish Plaza and had a tile saw.  Awesome.